5 Ways to Overcome Frustration on your Natural Hair Journey
Most of the questions that I from you guys are when you are fed up. You just spent 2 hours the night before styling and painstakingly molding hair into the tutorial you're watching . Then you wake up and think all you have to do is take down your hair and be on your way. Next thing you know, your twists aren't dry or your curls are so limp and lifeless that you feel yourself giving up. I know that feeling. In fact, so does your fav on your timeline and just about every other woman with natural hair. From the twists that just wouldn't dry to the stylist who took a little too much off the top. Fortunately, you are responsible for how you respond to these minor setbacks. So do yourself a favor and read these 5 tips so you will know how to avoid a potential meltdown.
Stop. Relax. Breathe.
When you're frustrated, a few cleansing breaths really make the difference between you ripping out a sizable chunk of your hair in frustration or treating it like it's spun from gold. We breathe differently depending on the mood that we are in, angry breaths tend to be short and hallow whereas relaxed breathing is long and deep. If you do a few deep breaths you can trick your body into thinking it's relaxed, it's pretty cool! Next time, try breathing in 4 counts and out 4 counts 10 times and then resume your detangling session.
Get to the root of what is really bothering you.
Now that you’ve calmed down, we can talk about what is really upsetting you. OK, you say you do not like your twist out. What specifically is it that you do not like? Length? Shape? Definition? Luckily for you, those are all 3 factors that you can change! Try modifying one or all three factors to see if you are happier with your look. I will say that if you have never gotten your hair cut into a shape in its natural state than that would be a great place to start. Not sure which one is your problem, leave a comment below with a picture of you and your hair and I will do my best to assess your situation.
change your internal dialogue.
Maybe your twist outs can defy gravity! Or your bantu knot out on stretched hair looks so full and luscious that you're giving Diana Ross a run for her money. Or is your shape so sickening that you can just add minimal product and be on your way. But instead of focusing on those redeeming qualities, you spend a lot time and energy talking about what your can't and won't do. Your hair is too short, too dry, whatever! Now put yourself on the receiving end of all this criticism, are you gonna wanna shine and show out? No! take some time to change the way you talk about your hair so that it will be meant with love and positivity. You know how Gabrielle Union in Being Mary Jane write post it note affirmations to herself? Well do the same thing and make it about your hair! You have to be able to build yourself up or else you'll constantly be relying on outside validation to turn your swag on.
Adjust your expectations.
If you have tightly coiled hair and you big chopped three months ago and you want to have hair like look like Tracy Ellis Ross, then you are always gonna be disappointed. And she don’t even want you to look like her. Listen, we all need inspiration, but make it a habit to try to find women that have similar features to you. I hate to say it but often times we champion women who have looser curls and leave our kinky sisters out to dry and that just ain't right! Don't put those same expectations on yourself, girl. Do yourself and your wallet a favor and quit buying up every product that supposedly will give you definition and make healthy hair your priority.
Take a break.
Maybe hair is not your specialty, but you're giving this natural thing a chance and no matter what you do it’s just not working. Maybe you’re just tired or have a big event or vacation coming up where the thought of you stressing over your strands is just toooo much. GET A PROTECTIVE STYLE. I pretty much guaranteed there is one to fit your look whether it's braids, short twists, or crochets. While it is in, take some time to change the way you talk about your hair so when it comes out you will be ready to greet it with love and positivity.
Need someone to talk to when you are on the verge? Like my Facebook Page so we can lean on each other.